To Whom It May Concern:
I hereby tenure my resignation for the position of mother. I have been doing this job now for almost 9 years and today I just need to quit.
This job is by far the most difficult job I have ever done. The expectation is that I will work 24 hours each day with little or no appreciation. I am always asked to take care of everyone else before I take care of myself and do so with a smile on my face.
I have no privacy and the constant badgering for my attention and time should be managed under standard labor laws. I can’t make dinner, help with homework, listen with any sort of engagement and play referee at the same time.
I cannot give 100% to 30 different things.
This role has been extremely undefined. I am sometimes a doctor, sometimes a lawyer, a waitress, a chef, a psychologist, a coach, a chauffeur, a referee and the list goes on. I don’t know which hat I am supposed to wear all the time but I am expected to do it with grace and patience.
This position has tested that. My patience. I have never been treated with such disrespect and admiration at the same time. It is confusing and truly quite exhausting.
Working through the total and utter exhaustion I feel every day makes this job almost intolerable when I hear songs repeated 20 times while driving. It makes me want to scream SHUT UP at the top of my lungs and just ask for silence. I understand that is totally unacceptable behavior on my part, so I keep my mouth shut. Please know I am screaming it in my head.
It would be unfair of me to always speak my mind, because sometimes what is in my mind is not nice and makes me feel as though I am terrible at my job. This job has affected my self-esteem, and made me question my person and my decisions at all times. I am not really sure of my judgment or ability. Have I made the right choice? What could I be doing differently? Do I show favoritism? Do I really need to constantly raise my voice?
I do know that this job has made me better at negotiation than I ever could have imagined. I certainly have learned the power of persuasion through veiled threats, and for that I am grateful.
I continue with the fact that I feel the training for this position has been insufficient. There are many times that I fell ill equipped to handle the situation at hand. I have not been armed with the best answers to do this job to the best of my ability. Since I have extremely high expectations of myself in the work place, this is rather unsettling for me. I like to be good at what I do and I often question my ability in this role.
As I mentioned before, my patience in this role has been tested. The anger that I sometimes feel fills me with such rage that I get the urge to smash people’s faces to the floor. But I don’t. I know that is irrational and that feeling will subside. But it is not easy when I am being yelled at, called names, talked back to and generally challenged at every turn. This is not an appropriate working environment, and I have honestly had my fill.
Not to mention how much time gets wasted on things that don’t seem to matter. Do you understand how infuriating it is to spend time (and money) on making lunch every day and it comes home without a shred being eaten? I feel that I spin my wheels like this on a regular basis. I am not seeing any progress in my efforts, and don’t enjoy working through the same issue repeatedly with no sign of change.
This brings me to the subject of the car. I can’t be expected to function as a referee, vending machine or engaged listener while I AM DRIVING. It is absolutely unreasonable and unsafe for me to be expected to pick things up that have fallen to the ground, unwrap gum, divvy out snacks or play DJ. Driving is the first and foremost thing that I am doing, and I can’t continue to compromise my safety or the safety of others in my vehicle.
Additionally, my car is not a trash bin. There is no reason that I should be expected to have my car detailed every week. Which is basically the only way that I can keep up with the crumbs, dirt and mud that fills it each and every day. If I miss one week, unknown smells begin to creep out of the upholstery- and I have leather seats.
Finally, I need to address the amount of time that I spend putting out fires and cleaning up other people’s messes. It’s as if it never ends. I turn around after cleaning one mess, and instantly there is another one to work through. This is an extremely unproductive use of my time and I can’t be held accountable for any tardiness or disruption any longer.
The job of mother has challenged me more than I ever thought possible. It has been a job that I have loved dearly, and has been so rewarding; however, I am at my wits end, and just need to quit while I am ahead.
Thank you so very much for this opportunity. It is such a relief to know that I am off the hook.
An exhausted, overworked and incredibly normal mom.